The Groan of the Meeting-Laden
I'm no expert on organizational communication, or, heaven forbid, group dynamics, but after going through three five hour meetings in as many days, I've developed some opinions.
Most of them have something to do with electrocution.
In my estimation, most of the problems with meetings, especially long meetings, have to do with people, and behavior modification of people seems best accomplished by electrical shock. Stimulus-response behavior modification, anyway. I'm going to assume reason just won't work, because, again, we're dealing with human beings.
My suggestion: every team should hire an unpredictable dwarf, give them a cattle prod, and let them creep about in meetings, zapping people at will.
The meetings would likely then be much shorter. So to speak.
And they would surely be more entertaining. I'm willing to risk a few volts for that alone.
Most of them have something to do with electrocution.
In my estimation, most of the problems with meetings, especially long meetings, have to do with people, and behavior modification of people seems best accomplished by electrical shock. Stimulus-response behavior modification, anyway. I'm going to assume reason just won't work, because, again, we're dealing with human beings.
My suggestion: every team should hire an unpredictable dwarf, give them a cattle prod, and let them creep about in meetings, zapping people at will.
The meetings would likely then be much shorter. So to speak.
And they would surely be more entertaining. I'm willing to risk a few volts for that alone.
posted by Dean at 8/18/2005 12:14:00 AM
2 Comments:
I am an expert in both organizational communications and group dynamics, and I must tell you, Dean, that you are really on to something. I can see a whole new area of organizational behavior modification evolving . . .
Nothing like this has been attempted since the middle ages. And then they didn’t use electricity, of course; they used pointed sticks. Very sharp pointed sticks.
While the dwarf idea is intriguing, it has limited commercial possibilities. You could market a line of meeting room furniture that includes chairs that are pre-wired to administer shocks randomly. Oh, and how about a control panel that could be used to punish participants for especially stupid comments with a well-timed zap?
Oh! The possibilities!
Heh.
I was in the meeting just yesterday where I was longing for a dwarf.
You know, for the whole zapping thing. No other reason. Really.
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