The Faceless Army
I've noticed that most of the comments (actual written ones) I get on this blog are from "anonymous." I don't have a problem with that (except when they are people posting links to their online casino tips), because I would probably do the same thing. Though likely with an absurd alias like "Octavius Absinthe."
But I am trying to imagine what it would be like if the people who give me comments in real life tried to be as anonymous as the ones here.
SITUATION ONE
*Phone rings*
Dean: Hello?
Unknown Caller: Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I agree with you on the whole "let's kill robots" thing.
Dean: Is this Mike?
Mike: No.
Dean: Um, Okay. I never said we should kill robots, though.
Mike (in disguise): But we should, right?
SITUATION TWO
*There is a knock on the door, and Dean answers it*
Person at door in a goat mask: Hi!
Dean: Uh, Hello.
Goat Mask: I wanted to let you know that your blog is great!
Dean: Thanks, but, who...
Goat Mask: And you are wonderful. I'm so proud of you.
Dean: Mom?
Mom in Goat Mask: No. I have no son. Goodbye.
So keep it coming, anonymouses (or anonymice, if you prefer). Just know that, despite your clever disguise, I might know who you are, anyway.
But I am trying to imagine what it would be like if the people who give me comments in real life tried to be as anonymous as the ones here.
SITUATION ONE
*Phone rings*
Dean: Hello?
Unknown Caller: Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I agree with you on the whole "let's kill robots" thing.
Dean: Is this Mike?
Mike: No.
Dean: Um, Okay. I never said we should kill robots, though.
Mike (in disguise): But we should, right?
SITUATION TWO
*There is a knock on the door, and Dean answers it*
Person at door in a goat mask: Hi!
Dean: Uh, Hello.
Goat Mask: I wanted to let you know that your blog is great!
Dean: Thanks, but, who...
Goat Mask: And you are wonderful. I'm so proud of you.
Dean: Mom?
Mom in Goat Mask: No. I have no son. Goodbye.
So keep it coming, anonymouses (or anonymice, if you prefer). Just know that, despite your clever disguise, I might know who you are, anyway.
posted by Dean at 9/16/2005 12:20:00 AM
9 Comments:
you know not me for i am god. no, just kidding im a little girl with big dreams. well, not really that either. dean, i am your second cousin martha drum IV(twice removed) and i come in peace. put down your weapon and no harm will befall you.
okay, so now you know you can't trust anyone named martha because she may, in fact, be a little girl with big dreams.
i hope didn't confuse you.
This happens because you're using that fetid Blogger where commenting non-anonymously is too painful and confusing.
Anonymous does have a point. If I made visitors to my home do something awkward like push their face into molding clay before I open the door, well, I can see why you would wear a goat mask.
But honey, you're the one who asked me to wear the goat mask!
How does it feel to have a wife who is at least ten times as funny as you are?
You knew that was me? I totally thought that I had you fooled because I called you from my cell phone - which makes my voice sound different-ish.
Oh, that's totally weird. I thought it was that other Mike, but now that I know it was you, I completely understand your hatred of robots.
You know, because of your "accident".
accident? tell, tell!
I only say I have no son when I wear the goat mask. Just like you asked me to. (I am proud of you though) Mom
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