The Price of Water

I try to drink at least 104 ounces of water a day, as I've found I develop piercing headaches if I don't. The reason I get headaches when I don't drink enough water is debatable. I tend to believe that I am under constant psychic assault by powers unknown, and the minerals resident in drinking water serve to shield me from Their telepathic attacks. My wife thinks it has more to do with general bodily hydration, but that's fine. Whatever the reason, drinking water removes pain, therefore I drink water.

There are water dispensers freely available in my workplace, but the liquid they spurt cannot really be called water. I'm sure there's water in there, but there are also a number of other things. Probably liquified methane and non-sodium salts, maybe feces. I can't be sure. In short, the water tastes bad. So it makes it difficult to abide actually drinking those 104 ounces.

The water I have at home is better, and if I had good sense I would bring some with me, but even if I did, I don't own the keg it would take to contain my Daily Water Requirement.

So anyway, this is the path that brought me today to one of the beverage purchasing monoliths in my building's break room. They sell water that doesn't taste like Evil in those monoliths, along with a variety of other drinking fluids. And I intended to get some...

[What happens when Dean puts coins into the monolith!? Does it eat his money? Does it shriek obscenities at him? Does it implode violently, creating a portal into another dimension? Stay tuned, Constant Reader! This Epic of The Mundane concludes tomorrow!]