Free Will and My Traitorous Lungs

Here's the thing: whenever I start to think about my own breathing, I discover I can't breathe at all unless I think about it. And then I'm flooded with the fear that I'm going to get distracted and suddenly suffocate via forgetfulness. Which is what is happening to me now.
Breathe.
I'm having a hard time writing because
Breathe.
I have to keep reminding myself that I need to
Breathe.
And if I get distracted for a second and forget just how long it has been since I last took a breath, I
GASP!
And then have to focus on regular
Breathe.
breathing again, which means my thoughts
Breathe.
never get too deep.
....
So, basically, it's a living nightmare.
Ultimately I know that my body will autonomously breathe, whether I think about it our not, since I regularly sleep five hours in a row and all my dreams are not about breathing.

But here comes the dilemma. Which is the greater horror: having to consciously manage all bodily systems, or to renliquish your will to an autonomous husk?

I mean, if I can breathe and my heart can beat without my even thinking about it, could my legs creep and my grip close around unsuspecting windpipes too? Probably.

Not that I have any choice, really. The cards have already been dealt, and the autonomous husk has a full house. Even when I am able to wrest control of my breathing from the unthinking beast, all it does is make me feel anxious and tense. So I guess I'll let it continue bossing me around. I can't complain about its work so far, so if it feels I need to wake up in a cornfield in the neighboring county at 4:00 AM, who am I to complain? It's probably for my own good.