What Lies Behind: The New Larvae
Something like a month ago I talked about the hobbled mutant potato bugs in my backyard. Since I posted that, my wife has undertaken a personal vendetta to exterminate the entire potato bug civilization behind our house. She sits back there with a rock in hand while our toddler plays in his sandbox. Whenever she sees a bug, she crushes it beneath the brutal weight of her stone. She estimates a death toll somewhere around 200.
And still they come.
However, now that the bugs have a natural predator (my wife), their evolution has proceeded startlingly fast. No longer will they lie stupidly on their backs when toppled, and their average size has increased about 50%.
Moreover, we have begun to discover mounds of earth appearing on the lawn. I had originally attributed these to my toddler, who loves to deposit piles of dirt in random and unlikely locations. But while idly picking at one of these heaps the other day, I discovered a tunnel beneath the outer layer of dirt. A hidden tunnel. Each one of these dirt heaps had actually been a concealed entry/exit to an underground transit system.
The tunnels themselves are about three times larger than the body circumference of the average potato bug, so they are either
a) building in anticipation of more gargantuan generations,
b) making headroom for when they begin to walk upright, or
c) made by or for some other creature that has not as yet revealed itself
I suppose it is safe to say I no longer really have a lawn, in the normal sense. The grass, never extremely healthy, has now simply become set dressing for the horror show percolating beneath the dirt.
I'm thinking of selling the rights to the Sci-Fi Channel. They love those made-for-TV bug movies. If you missed the two hour epic "Mansquito," you really ought to check it out when they show it again in a couple weeks.
And still they come.
However, now that the bugs have a natural predator (my wife), their evolution has proceeded startlingly fast. No longer will they lie stupidly on their backs when toppled, and their average size has increased about 50%.
Moreover, we have begun to discover mounds of earth appearing on the lawn. I had originally attributed these to my toddler, who loves to deposit piles of dirt in random and unlikely locations. But while idly picking at one of these heaps the other day, I discovered a tunnel beneath the outer layer of dirt. A hidden tunnel. Each one of these dirt heaps had actually been a concealed entry/exit to an underground transit system.
The tunnels themselves are about three times larger than the body circumference of the average potato bug, so they are either
a) building in anticipation of more gargantuan generations,
b) making headroom for when they begin to walk upright, or
c) made by or for some other creature that has not as yet revealed itself
I suppose it is safe to say I no longer really have a lawn, in the normal sense. The grass, never extremely healthy, has now simply become set dressing for the horror show percolating beneath the dirt.
I'm thinking of selling the rights to the Sci-Fi Channel. They love those made-for-TV bug movies. If you missed the two hour epic "Mansquito," you really ought to check it out when they show it again in a couple weeks.
posted by Dean at 8/25/2005 12:10:00 AM
1 Comments:
For the record, I'm not cruel. I crush the head first so they die instantly. I don't like to kill things and only undertake it when the species has undertaken Plague status.
Besides, they ate two of my hostas down to the roots. They're dangerous.
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