Speaker For The Dead
So I'll be giving my fourth eulogy in as many years tomorrow. Which probably means I won't be updating on Thursday, but you never know.
Hmph.
I never expected to have to speak at this many funerals. I always felt like my "loved one" quotient was lower than most, which you would assume means fewer "opportunities" to speak after they die. But no.
Don't get me wrong. I love the people I've spoken for, and I am proud to have the opportunity to celebrate them, but it can be emotionally draining. The responsibility of summing up someone's entire life in ten minutes is a bit humbling. I mean, it's not really possible. The only hope is to try to reflect some of that person's "light" off yourself, and hope it reminds the audience of who the person was and how they made you feel.
But as much as I would like to believe otherwise, I think the main reason I am chosen to speak at such occasions is because I have the emotional depth of a tree stump. I'm just not capable of the sentimentality that would turn a funeral into a riot of weeping, wailing, and tooth gnashing. Which is good. A wail-free function is usually much more orderly than those full of it. And my family tends to prefer order.
But really, I would prefer that people just stop dying on me. It's getting old.
Hmph.
I never expected to have to speak at this many funerals. I always felt like my "loved one" quotient was lower than most, which you would assume means fewer "opportunities" to speak after they die. But no.
Don't get me wrong. I love the people I've spoken for, and I am proud to have the opportunity to celebrate them, but it can be emotionally draining. The responsibility of summing up someone's entire life in ten minutes is a bit humbling. I mean, it's not really possible. The only hope is to try to reflect some of that person's "light" off yourself, and hope it reminds the audience of who the person was and how they made you feel.
But as much as I would like to believe otherwise, I think the main reason I am chosen to speak at such occasions is because I have the emotional depth of a tree stump. I'm just not capable of the sentimentality that would turn a funeral into a riot of weeping, wailing, and tooth gnashing. Which is good. A wail-free function is usually much more orderly than those full of it. And my family tends to prefer order.
But really, I would prefer that people just stop dying on me. It's getting old.
posted by Dean at 9/28/2005 12:01:00 AM
4 Comments:
Nothing like a spate of comment spam to offer comfort on a post about death.
Holy crap! That was bad timing. I imagine Dean will delete the first 3 comments here eventually, but they're all spam comments.
And let me add that although asking him to do the eulogies is in part motivated by the fact that the rest of us would blubber incoherently, he's very, very good at it. And perhaps should travel around in a spaceship delivering eulogies on various planets for a living. Seriously though, we're done with losing our near-and-dears for awhile. No more.
I don't know you, but will you please speak at my service. I love order. My own family should cry, but wouldn't. You won't cry and shouldn't. Perfect.
oooooooooookay
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